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Leader Specials

The Beast had started a thread somewhere, which I need to find again, in which he came up with an absolutely hilarious series of irreverently funny leader "specials". I would like to add the following suggestions to the list. Perhaps the worst part of these leader specials, is that leaders conferred with these specials are impervious to death, even though the units they command can get killed.

Narayan

August 20-27, 2001

Beer Gut:

units entrench immediately in town while they visit the local tavern. -4 on defense and attack values. Somewhat related to the “Femme Fatale” leader special.

Hypochondriac:

Doesn't like bad weather or rivers, etc.

Mary Poppins:

-3 on morale

Lazy Eye:

-2 on visibility and initiative

Wandering Eye:

-3 on initiative; See The Clinton on page 5.

Myopic:

Automatically moves into and surprised by any enemy unit within moving distance

Gay-dar:

+3 on fraternization scores. Works especially well against/with Greek troops.

Crybaby:

leaves troops in a heart beat to go home to complain to the Fuhrer; +4 profile; -2 on everything else

Poor Loser:

Similar to crybaby. This leader stays in place and complains and thus makes him more liable to get shot. +2 profile.

Ski bunny:

-3 movement in Alpine areas

French Attack:

+2 on public relations values; stops and retreats immediately at the first sign of resistance

Nervous Nellie:

-2 on initiative

Rasputin:

-4 on all values except defense. +8 on defense. Leader cannot be removed.

Big Spender:

The opposite of "Influence". Inspired by pork barrel politics, this leader pays 100% extra for units.

Dumbkopf:

See Colonel Klink special on page 37.

Oversleeper:

Opposite of Overwatch. Guarantees support for units after they have been attacked and possibly massacred.

Tea Drinker:

-6 on attack/defense between 4 pm to 5 pm.

The Snob:

Terrifies and intimidates enemy units through ability to dazzle with big words and knowledge of Kabuki theater. +4 defense.

George Dubbya:

Lacks knowledge of foreign terrain; -3 spotting, +1 profile.

Girlie Man:

General wuss. –6 to close attack and defense, -1 entrenchment. Unable to lift open door to bomb shelters or to break in to buildings that might offer cover.

Wussy Boy:

Similar to Girlie Man, but has –2 on entrenchment. Usually has sand all over his face.

Double-talker:

Specialist in double-speak such as “strategic retrograde maneuver” and acronyms and initialisms that totally obfuscate the truth. +4 morale.

Waterboy:

Same as Gopher. Automatically gets sent to hopeless situations, like Iwo Jima or Bastogne. Also see the “Dead Meat” leader special. Plus your leader photo is instantly updated to look like movie star Adam Sandler, star of the movie of the same name as this leader special.

Female Navigator:

This leader is impervious to reading maps. Thinks that the Autobahn is a bird watching society. “Intuitive” sense of direction typically off by only 180 degrees. Moves one hex in a random direction for every hex moved forward.

WWI Tactician

Leads massed infantry frontal assaults on any unit that is heavily equipped with heavy firepower. –4 strength points, attack and defense values. +2 profile.

Delhi-Belly

Too much curry means that men under this leader have to stop every half an hour for WC stops. –3 movement, -2 defense, +1 profile. This leader special is also known as “Montezuma’s Revenge” for ETO leaders.